I cannot find my penis.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
