So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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