get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
