White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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