I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
