Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
