So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
