Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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