One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
