Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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