You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
worst night to have a conscience
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
