can u get pink eye on your cock?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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