my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
