6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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