you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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