she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
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Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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