You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
