I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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