u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
