I want to stick my p in your. b.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize