I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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