I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I smell like Dick and happiness
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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