Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
