i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
only you would photoshop your dick
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
