Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
