I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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