the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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