Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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