Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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