How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
me + whiskey = a bad person
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
