I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
