He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
