Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
