walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So vagazzling was a success
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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