The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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