Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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