I just made out with a guy for $7.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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