when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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