dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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