My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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