if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My vagina just recognized that song.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
