I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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