I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
