I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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