Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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