3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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