"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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