birth control should be required to get into college
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
