I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
