Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
