He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize