she looked like the before picture.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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