the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
