My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
