I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
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Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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