First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
