did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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